Exercise your mind not just your body
You’re doing the fertility diets, the fertility acupuncture, the exercise’s; searching and searching for the best ways to improve your fertility naturally, searching and searching for how to get pregnant fast, searching and searching for signs of ovulation or even what is ovulation for that matter.
Searching and searching
The issue? It’s the quite frankly, desperation that comes from the searching. It creates the torment that you are going through, and I get it, I really do. But have you ever considered that this emotional torment might be a part of the problem?
What if the answer your searching for isn’t found in what to do to “fix” your body? What if it can’t come from outside yourself?
The problem may appear to be your body and why wouldn’t it seem that way when you’ve got to do the fertility tests and procedures, you have to consider how best to eat and sleep to improve your fertility, it’s suggested to increase the blood flow to your uterus by exercising more and all the other stuff you’re told. The focus from the fertility industry and all the information you’re provided with is focused on what your body is NOT doing.
Yet we are more than just muscle, viscera and vital organs; we have minds, emotions, and thoughts. What part do they play in your fertility health?
A woman can spend years searching for the “thing” that is the answer to her quest to getting pregnant.
Asking, “why me?”
I was the same, Google was my friend, the Facebook support groups were my “drug” of choice because someone somewhere must have a problem like me, and someone somewhere must have found the solution.
All I found was misery – and believe me misery loves company! (I don’t think there has been a finer saying, when it comes to human suffering)
But such is the pull of quick fixes that just end up disappointing because the truth? You haven’t fixed the real problem.
In this fast-paced world we now find ourselves in, no one has time for working out the real problem and getting to the bottom of it. The collective “we” wants quick gains and even quicker returns.
Socrates said that you cannot cure the body without first curing the soul. You see the body is the expression of the dis-ease.
‘Dis-ease: a body not at ease.’
If you want to know why the dis-ease, you’ve got to go deeper. Internal.
It’s normal to be seduced by “secrets” of how to increase fertility, best positions to get pregnant, fertility calculators; all with the promises of the perfect baby bump at the end of your desperate quest. Because at the end of the day we don’t want to feel the pain of inadequacy at not being able to do something as simple as getting pregnant.
It truly is painful.
The echo of why me, rings loudly in my ears.
To ask that question, implies that there is ultimately something wrong with you.
And on top of it, you’re aging.
Birth rates are declining. Women having babies over the age of 40 is increasing.
I can hear the cries of:
“I’m running out of time!”
Increasingly feeling like, “the odds are against us!”
We all bought into the idea of and felt the pangs of our “aging ovary” strings, yet we grew up with the societal frowns of the teenage pregnancy epidemic. We’re left now to throw our collective hands up in despair at the now ridiculous notion of “easy” pro-creation.
Many will carry on this way – searching, because the authority of western medicine and the idea of aging pulls with the lure of blame in that you shouldn’t have waited so long and of cure with fertility treatments, IVF, and IUI’s to do what your body can’t.
For some it will work, yet I wonder at what cost? Emotionally, physically and mentally – what cost? And I wonder still for those who cannot afford the actual financial cost of IVF – what of them? Priced out of their dream of being a mother, especially in the UK where it is a postcode lottery for the number of rounds given on the NHS, and if you suffer secondary infertility there is no NHS provision for IVF.
There is also the lure of the women that treatments, diets, pills, holistic therapies have “worked” for.
Instead I went the other way – went a path that few take to discover what else may be possible. Not because I’m better, because deep down somewhere inside I knew something had to change, something else was missing.
I found the question wasn’t “how to get pregnant?” it was, “how to become whole?”
The key? Choice
In this day and age, I’m all about choice! A woman shouldn’t be emotionally strong-armed into anything – she has choice(s).
And if you’re willing to do something different, you will be seriously tested and challenged; you will come to a place of deep internal satisfaction, of knowing, of peace of mind and fulfilment.
The call to return to what others are doing will be great – to try “something” else that some person, who knows someone else, whose friend has tried X and it worked.
I’ve been there too, it’s so difficult to go another way when the desired outcome isn’t guaranteed.
There will be a few who will see “worked” as in reality being it worked for them. Sometimes the path you walk must be done alone.
Many see their problems as external to themselves. Many see their fertility issues as something to be resolved externally. Many think their need can only be filled from the outside. Many won’t understand – and they don’t have to.
Ask yourself, what if there is a deeper emotional problem that I haven’t considered?
Much of the torment, frustration and despair at trying to conceive, which sends you searching and searching, comes from how you think and feel about conceiving.
How you think about it impacts your body’s response to conceiving.
How you feel about it impacts your body’s response to conceiving.
It doesn’t have to remain that way. Conceiving doesn’t have to be “trying”, doesn’t have to be torment and frustration, doesn’t have to be desperation.
Get to know your emotional blocks and remove them. Clear away your deepest fears and worries. Move into a state of feeling good about yourself and your body; move into conception mode. Be kind to yourself, to your body (as ultimately it will be home to your baby).
Love yourself – why? Why not?